I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
