I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
