She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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