He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
