So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
