drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
its liver damage thursday
Randomize