I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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