You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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