I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
