Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
