im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
