After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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