So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
