What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
