you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
