Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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