so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Let's get the cat blown out
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
