new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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