meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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