I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
