I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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