Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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