i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
