Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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