oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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