I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
