I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
