She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
