I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
