Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
