I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
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He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
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Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This is my life. Enjoy the view
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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