My hair reeks of homosexuality.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
