the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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