Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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