There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
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Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
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I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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