this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
