is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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