I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
