I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
