You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize