My nipple is on Facebook.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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