do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
