I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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