I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
