Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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