So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
