Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
