Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You can't just leave with hair like that
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
