if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
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