we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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