I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
