she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
