brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
well you can't waste a boner
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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