I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
