Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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