exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
