so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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