will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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