He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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