There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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