So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
