So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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