Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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