No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
