Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
