I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
