so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
