well most of my day revolves around power hour
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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