there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
