she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
