I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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