Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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