in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
